Shoe In Shreds

I had it in the morning. Capricorns always live in the fear of a dreadful fate. We are smart and not intended to be known, but more on that instinctive knowledge which we get from a newspaper astrology column which sometimes seems very true, lessens the fact that we don’t disclose things, at all. Even to our alter-ego.  Since the time I ended up my teen (-in numerals) and just put my foot forward in my quarter-life. Everything around me starts revolving, the days are hopeless, nights are intolerable. The fear of being worthy of nothing, fear of ineptness, fear of desolation and this anxiousness always leaves me with a sense of remorse and guilt. Why? 

I don't know if my parents know about me, feeling this way of not able to do anything in life and still brags out to become Einstein. Just this thought, my inability makes my day go down in the dumps. I have friends as everybody else's but I never want anybody to support me. This life is just a survival for me; from guilt, from regrets, from the villain inside, from everywhere. Is it too late to begin again? Have I ever had any talent? Did I grow up to become nothing? Questions, I have slews. Answers, I have none. 

I've never been so comfortable to anyone talking and emotionally satisfying as I am to my blogs. Took me very hard to cope with life and when I finally got a go in the field of journalism and mass communication I'm taking it very lightly and still doing nothing except tearing my shoes in the daily run. When I've had enough, that stubbornness still surfaces my adolescents. Things are hard to do with. Finally I have thought to put that shoe in shreds under the bed and buy myself a new meaning of life, a new pair of shoes.

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